funny face

I am participating in a self-run course called, The Artist's Way. It's all about unblocking your creativity. It's a twelve week course. I am only in week one. Each week there are tasks that you can choose to do. One of the tasks this week was to list five careers you would like besides your own. I feel silly doing this because I don't really have a career that is my "own," so the idea that I would want to do something instead of what I am doing is funny, because I'm not doing anything. I am a dance teacher that currently isn't teaching dance, and I am a writer that doesn't really publish anything (okay, occasionally in The Portland Mercury). So my list was something like: 1. model 2. teacher (i kinda feel like i am already this, maybe. what am i?) 3. filmmaker 4. vet---and I can't remember five. The second part of this task was that you had to do something to persue this career. The example they gave was that if you wanted to be a cowboy, how about going horseback riding. So I was going to take some still pictures that tell a story--on my way to being a filmmaker. But--I have been searching craigslist for something to do and I saw that a model agency was having an open call so I was like, "Perfect." I was kinda excited. I hadn't been on an audition in a long time. I was feeling cute. Two--2!--guys hit on me on my way to the audition. I was thinking--it's in the bag. I walked in the door and there were four girls sitting in chairs, two brunettes that were kind of homely (I am not saying that to be mean, or because of the events that followed--it's just true) and there were two blondes who were kinda cute. All of these girls were of normal build. So this guy--I guess he like ran the agency-- says to me, "Are you here for the open call?" I say, "Yes." He says, "Your look isn't right for us." And I think I said something like, "Okay..." and I turned around and walked out the door. Of course while I was driving home I was thinking, I should have said, "What type of look are you looking for?" "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME."



I've been though auditioning and I didn't take this personally. I was just excited to like, walk down a fake catwalk and have them take my polaroid. Oh, well. But I wonder if I should try again. Does that even count as trying?