MONOlove

They prescribed me this medicine called, prednisone, which is a steriod and will help with the inflammation of my tonsils. On the bottle there is a warning that says, "this medicince can be it hard to fight infections." You see, when your body is attacked by some infection or virus the tonsils are on the front lines, now this steriod basically shuts off the immune system so my tonsils will stop being fiery and huge, trying to trick the virus or bacteria into thinking my body is an inhospitable place. My grandpa was given a whole lot more of this steriod when they found out he had a brain tumor. I wasn't here to see it but supposedly he did not react well to it. Plus, my dog Lilygirl has to take it when she hurts her back, which often happens because she is a twelve year old bassett hound.

The pill is small, round, and orange, the color of a creamsicle. I don't know why I didn't notice the first two days I was taking it, but it tastes awful. The container carries a warning: Take with food or milk. At first I thought this was to help your stomach but I think it's to help mask the awful taste. Back when I was younger, and much more wild (or attempting to appear wild), I did my fair amount of ecstacy. When we were ready to start our "roll," we would place the tablet, which, yes, usually had some symbol on it like a happy face, or a heart, in the back of our mouths, near out teeth and we would bite down on it, so as to break it up a bit, then we would drink orange juice like we were hungover. The moments from when the ecstacy would hit my taste buds, until the orange juice would come and wash it away were awful. It is not a vitaminy, medicine taste. I hate that as well. It is the wretched taste of something that should not be put in your body. Your body knows it and it is yelling out, your tongue is screaming, "THIS! YOU WANT TO INJEST THIS! YOU HAVE TO BE CRAZY! THIS IS AWFUL!" With the ecstacy, my body had a point, but with the prednisone, I think it isn't taking the good with the bad. This little, orange pill has saved me from so much pain. Yet, if there was a wave of extremely infectious disease I would probably die.


Now, what I really want to talk about is Valentine's Day. It is Valentine's Day today. I have always hated Valentine's Day. When I was younger I hated it because it made me feel uncomfortable. Not because I didn't have a boyfriend, oh no, I had plenty of boyfriends. It is hard for me to think of a Valentine's Day when I haven't had a boyfriend. I'm sure in 8th grade I was dating David Toth. I think he brought me a stuffed Tigger from his family's trip to Disneyland. We broke up a few days later. I was never comfortable giving my boyfriends gifts. What if they didn't like them? What if they thought they were stupid, and therefore, I was stupid? So I would usually just call a preemptive strike and break up with them before it got to the level of gift giving. The ultimate story of this is from sixth grade. I was dating a very sweet boy who really liked me a lot. I mean, even now, I know he liked me more than just some silly sixth grade hold hand in the hallways thing, this was like a I might still like you after Christmas Break thing. But the gift thing ruined it. I heard it through the rumor mill that he had got me the cassette tape, "Oooo, on the TLC Tip," for Christmas. I really wanted that tape; it was the perfect present, and I had nothing for him. So what could I do? I had to break up with him. I tried to give the tape back him, to refuse it, but he wouldn't let me. He wanted me to have it. I had no choice. I had to jam to "What About Your Friends?" all Christmas Break on my My First Sony Walkman.

So after many middle school relationships--let me tell you, I went through them faster than maxi pads--in high school I got serious. So my first high school boyfriend I really like and I don't want this Valentine's Day gift giving mess to ruin everything. I forced myself to get over Christmas--everyone gives gifts on Christmas. I could too. But no way would I do Valentine's Day--so I just told him that I didn't like Valentine's Day, not only did I not like, I refused to see him on that day. It coudln't be treated as just a regular day. It had to be treated as an anti-day (which might be what night is, i'm not sure).

Now, I will tell you--I like Valentine's Day. I like that my friend Billy was hoping to get a temp job delivering flowers on this day and was hoping to also see Music and Lyrics. I like that Krista is going to make Jared some steak dinner and tiramsu with beer--and she is going to eat some of the steak because she is a fake vegetarian, which she has every right to be. If I had the fear of roast beef that she has, I would be a fake vegetarian too. I like that Paterson is going to come visit me tonight. I would like that even if it wasn't Valentine's Day, but since it is--it feels special. And, maybe that is what I was so afraid of back when I was eleven, feeling special. It can be a scary sensation--you're different than everyone else; you're special. Paterson will probably get here pretty late (late for me is now 7:30), and he isn't really allowed to kiss me, and any sort of physical intimacy is out of the question, but maybe we can eat a little something and watch "The West Wing," and feel special.