Porn Shop Chronicles: WARNING THIS POST IS RATED NC-17

This past summer I worked at a group home. I worked from Friday through Monday. Every Sunday one of the "consumers," that's what the company preferred we called them, went to a store called Taboo to pick out some adult videos. I would give him forty-five minutes and spend a good chunk of that time wandering around the shop looking at the various videos and toys. I would always call my brother and tell him how funny everything was. Here are some of my favorite items:



1) I love mermaids. 2) It is kind of hard to see but the vibrator is irridescent with a shell on top, and the shell is pointy. Why would you stick that inside you? I have never, ever been on the beach, seen a shell and thought, I would love to masturbate with that. 3) The starfish plug is such a nice touch. I can get behind that.



Call me sexually naive, but I found this fascinating. And then I imagined what women would look like if our breasts were attached to our chins instead of our chests, like characters from Star Wars. i.e. every man's dream.