dutch bros.

there is a chain of drive thru coffee stands in oregon called, dutch brothers. they have pretty good coffee but what makes them stand out is the people they have serving you the coffee. they are all young and with a certain degree of hip--i find it hard to believe one to amass such a group in the small, town of mcminnville--and, according to my sister and her boyfriend, they are all christians. having young, hip, attrative people serve me coffee is nothing new. even the fact that they are all christians doesn't really surprise me (also, this fact has not been proved, and once, my sister claimed her apartment complex was run by the christian mafia, so i don't think she is a repudaptle source). my sister also says all the workers there are,"engaged and underaged," to put it in mtv terms. this can be said about the baristas at dutch brothers: they are extremely nice. they are always asking what you are up to, where you are headed, but not in a way that is nosey and annoying; it seems genuine and friendly, like if you were to say, "i'm moving my piano today," they would offer to help. my sister says they do this because they are jacked up on the love of christ. i think the owner of dutch bros. is just a good business man, but christ still might have something to do with it.

this morning when i got my latte the worker i encountered wasn't unfriendly--just wasn't up to the dutch bros. par. here is the interraction:

dutch bros. dude: hey girl, how you doing today?

me: good.

dbd: what can i get you today?

me: a small, non-fat, sugar-free, vanilla latte, please.

dbd: no problem.

(begins making drink)

dbd: so, what are you up to today?

me: i have to work.

dbd: what do you do?

me: i teach yoga and dance.

dbd: oh cool. at what gym?

me: i teach at a studio in town.

dbd: right on.

(hands me the drink)

dbd: here you go, girl.

me: thanks.

dbd: have a great day, girl.


end scene.


okay, so it wasn't awful, but he called me girl three times. and girl is barely one step above, "babe." so my theory, since clearly there are not that many young, hip, attractive people in yamhill county and their overt niceness is caused for suspicion, is that the owner of dutch bros. has created an army of attractive, robot baristas powered by the love of christ.