hermit crabs

tonight, while at qfc, purchasing laundry detergent and getting quarters the checker actually asked me, "doin' laundry?" i guess this isn't so bad, but i am surly today, and hungover and the world seems so ridiculous and slow, and maybe a little sad. i think it is like this everyday and i just don't notice, but today, with my haze i see it clearly.

i got internet in my apartment today (barely, thanks bhc). i would say that it is the last piece of the puzzle, that my home is now complete but i still feel like there is something missing. i think there is something false about it. i've put together a great apartment, and i love it, and i spent lots of money doing it, but when will it stop feeling like a weak shell? like hermit crabs live in those shells and they carry their houses on their back and those shells are strong. this doesn't feel strong yet.

hermit crabs reminds me of this story i once wrote about a girl who wanted to live inside a sea shell and on the last line of first paragraph my professor wrote, "maybe too clever." but i wasn't even trying to be clever. i hadn't realized i was. does that make me even more clever, or just lucky?