survivor

I think my legs used to be stronger. My feet too, and my ankles. They used to have a definition and I used to be proud of them. Back when I wanted bruises on my knees. Now my knees hurt and many ankles. And it is like riding a bike, you never forget, but my bike is rusty and old and the tires are deflated. It's weird when things that used to control your life no longer do. I wonder what type of person I would be if I continued, if I still allowed it to rule me. Am I really that different from the girl who drove an hour to go dance, with a packed lunch of saltines and peanut butter and carrot sticks. Or sometimes my mom would take me, and then go and kill time for five hours. She would go to Applebees and eat alone, then go to Border's and read travel books, taking notes. Then she would arrive, and have candy for us, and drive us all home. Sometimes the car rides would be silent, other would be rowdy and boisterous. All the time I've spent dancing. All the hours of my life, driving to class, driving home, going to dance competitions, and then the hours upon hours of class. I know I am not old, but I do feel like I know enough about the power of youth to miss it. and i feel good because i am still that girl i think. i just have more distractions.