what ever happened to axel rose?

you've never really been very good at going out. you've also never really understood why people go to bars. you play darts because you are bored and you know that conversation never does it's proper job of passing the time. you order a bloody mary, extra dirty, extra olives. all you have eaten today is a mango and some dry toast. the bar is narrow, one long booth and the vinyl on the seat is cracked. you aren't very good at darts and no one tells you that but you know it anyway. everyone cheers you on, you're at a bar, they're drunk. you feel bad about being bad at darts though. a crossed-eyed man approaches you and offers to show you how. turn your body to the side, he says, take aim, and throw the dart, in a short explosive movement. you wonder how a man who is crossed could be giving you advice on a precision sport. you start to feel uncomfortable because strangers make you feel that way. thanking the cross eyed man you slink back to your cracked vinyl seat and finish off your drink. you don't really feel like getting another one and you don't really feel like leaving. so you sit, your back getting sweaty against the vinyl. you wonder how many push-ups you could do. how about that guy over there, how many can he do? once the bar is really jam packed you forfeit your seat and mosey to the juke-box. you play november rain by guns 'n' roses, but it takes five songs for yours to come on so while you are waiting you stand close to the women's restroom and judge every girl who walks out. one tv is playing nascar and the other everybody loves raymond. finally, november rain comes on and you take a seat at the bar and ask the bartender if he knows what happened to axel rose and whether or he was really boning stephanie seymour. the bartender says, i don't know, and runs to help a women who appears to have ordered a sour apple martini and you get mildly disgusted with how typical everyone is. with that you leave and as you walk past the women's room you trip the lady who is exiting and she falls flat on her face and you continue towards the street exit, smiling.