the feral cat chronicles, cont.

the human lady continued to bring food. it wasn't ever tuna again, but meals that came out of can with names like beef with gravy and ocean surprise. i was still nursing but grover and i let mustard and ginny take part in the feedings. the human lady would put the food out and a plate and then stand there and watch us. it bothered me, the way she did that, standing there watching us devour this food. we were all so hungry. it made me feel undignified, to let her see how badly we wanted this food.

"she's just watching us." i said to grover between bites.

"just ignore her dear." he answered.

ginny and mustard just ate and ate. kittens, they are always hungry. between the four of there certainly wasn't enough food, even with the human lady's offering. the kitten's need food to grow up into big strong cats, not like me and grover. we are skinny but survivors. i would love to see ginny and mustard grow into cats that are larger than us. strong cats that demand a presence, that don't live in shadows.

once they were done eating the kittens curled up next to me.

"that food was so good mama." ginny said. "better than the hamburger wrappers we ate off last night."

"i know sweetie." i didn't want to be too agreeable. i was still unsure of the human lady's motives. i could not get out of my head what that old cat with the missing ear tip had told me. the human lady just wants to fix us and steal our babies.

"do we get food like that from now on?" asked mustard.

"i wouldn't get too used it." i said, licking his head.

"why?"

"we can't rely on humans. we aren't like the inside cats. we are outdoor cats, wild cats, the way cats are supposed to be." i answered looking at my babies, trying to teach them something.

"indoor cats?" ginny's ears perked up.

oh no. i had peaked curiosity instead of fear. "yes, sweetie, indoor cats." i nuzzled her trying to calm her.

"there are cats in the big thing that humans come out of?" ginny was excited, she rolled over and stood up. always the follower, mustard did the same. i had opened up a can of tuna that i certainly didn't mean to.

"yes, there are probably cats in that building, and that one," i nodded to the other building nearby, "they rely on the humans for food and water and love."

"where do they go to the bathroom?" mustard asked.

i laughed, "in a box. filled with dirt type stuff they call litter."

"box of dirt?" mustard rolled on the ground laughing. ginny pounced on him.

"i don't think it sounds so funny," ginny said. "it's quite interesting."

"it's not interesting ginny. those cats are confined to the indoors all the time. they never get to feel the sun directly on them or hunt through tall bushes. they completely rely on humans for food, love, and entertainment," i put my face by hers, "you don't want that dear."

she looked at me wide-eyed. "why not? sounds like an easy life to me. at least you'd always have food." ginny had always been interested in luxuries even when she was just born, she stayed on and stole most of the small padding that i found to give birth on from her brothers.

"you would trade food for freedom?" i asked her.

she was quiet. she laid down and crossed her paws. "no." she said. "but it might be nice..." she yawned and put her head down. "you'd never have to worry..." she drifted off to sleep.

mustard curled up by his sister and so did i. we all took a nap and i dreamt of ginny in a big comfy house, eating tuna everyday, the humans with their hands all over her and i hoped ginny wasn't dreaming the same thing.