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last night daniel and i ate dinner at denny's. it was around six thirty on a friday and the only other people in there were old men, most with glasses, wearing billed hats to cover their comb-overs or unwashed hair, eating fish. i told daniel that this is what he had to look forward to. the guy does love denny's.

i am working next weekend at theater and i am upset at my inability to escape that place, the company, the world of the movie theater. i feel as if i've out grown it, but at the same time wish i could go back and do it all over again, like high school. but since i am going back and sort of doing it all over again i know it is depressing, just like going back to high school would be. good in theory, bad in practice. i've just reached this level of apathy towards working there that i can't even care that other people care, because i know its not really worth it. but it was at one point in my life, sort of like dance but less productive, something that consumed me. i lived at the theater. my boyfriend worked there, my friends, it was like a sitcom. but now there is bad blood and i've stayed way too long. the blood really isn't bad anymore, just old, and stale.
but a job is a job and i cringed as i asked my mom for more money last night. she said that she doesn't mind helping me out because she doesn't think i am wasting it. am i wasting it? probably. most of my money goes to food and drink and bus fare. i eat a lot and i drink a lot and i take the bus a lot.

i bough a new shower curtain today. it smells like new plastic. the smell reminds me of birthdays and first days of school. it has the world on it in bright blues, pinks, and yellows. the oceans and seas are trasnparent. i like it and i think i will help my geography but i took down the old one with heavy heart. the old one was bright and colorful and all over it was picture of things like a mermaid, a guitar, a boat, a flower, death, alcohol, and underneath there was the name in spanish. the only ones i can remember without looking at the old shower curtain is la siren, mermaid, and le morte, death (i think). so after seven months of having those spanish words up that is all i learned. maybe my geography won't get any better. the old one has mold on the bottom and has ripped from being pulled open and shut so many times. this new one will get to be the same as the old one, moldy and ripped, and the cycle will continue until i get something more permanent, like a shower door that slides.