rain in the valley

the first time it rained in the valley I was happy. it reminded me of home. it was late january and i looked out at the courtyard of my three-bedroom apartment that was only $950 a month and was glad i didn't have to go and do anything, glad i could just sit in my apartment. or step out on to my wet balcony and smoke a cigarette in the rain.

tara and i decided to go and see magnolia. we went to the general cinema on van nuys and milbank. i think it was the first time i ever ventured west of woodman. on the screen john c. reilly lost his gun in the rain by an apartment in the valley and he is on his knees searching and he begs jesus to find his gun for him. i felt connected for the first time to this place that is a million times bigger than anything i had ever known.

a year later, late january, it was raining again. the streets were flooding. "urban flooding" they called it. i drove through a puddle on coldwater and water sprayed in the open window and tara got all wet. the wide streets of the valley turned in to rivers as water rushed along and over the high curbs. i still liked the rain though, it still reminded me of home.

a year later, late january, and it was raining again and it was the first day of school. i walked on campus with no umbrella and my jeans got wet to the knees. everyone else had an umbrella. no one at home used because it rained all the time. they were used to it raining all the time. tara moved to san fransisco. before she left we posed as robots and dane took pictures of us. we were both wearing our glasses, smiling robot smiles, in the doorway of her room. we rented her room to someone else, and forwarded her mail, and told her we didn't want to keep that ugly ceramic cat with the rose painted on it.

it didn't rain late last january and i forgot tara's birthday.