our lady of guadalupe

friday started like this:

i am sitting on the couch doing nothing. Its 12:15pm and i've just woken up. i wish i could say i can't remember the last time i slept so late,but it happened earlier this week. my dad calls me, "whatcha doin'?" he asks, and all i can say is nothing, because that is really what i am doing. "i just woke up," i have to tell him because he can't believe that i'm really doing nothing. no dad, this is what people without jobs do, drink too much and sleep til noon.

around 2:

it is t's wedding day. she is marrying a gay brazilian man. she needs witnesses so daniel and i went, as well as an old dance friend i hadn't seen in years. the chapel is downtown and out front, over the windows, there is a large picture of a bride and a groom, their eyes have been scratched out so there is just white orbs on smiling faces. i walk t down the aisle, and i walk to fast, and i can't stop laughing. "stop laughing," she says out of the side of her mouth. at the end i give her a hug and sit down. the service was more religious than we expected and the minister talked of love, and god, and how nothing is sacred anymore. i laughed a little. the chapel was called guadalupe chapel and each one had a figurine or wall hanging of the saint, our lady of guadalupe.

that night:

there is a dinner party to celebrate the nuptials. i don't know half the people there but while outside smoking two gay guys (groom's side), go ga-ga for my eyes. "they're so clear," one says. "it's like i can see...i can see--"

"tomorrow," says the other.

"you're different." they tell me. "you're different than those other people in there. you're mature. you're supposed to be an actress."

why do gay guys always think i should be an actress? i tell them maybe i'll pick it up as a hobby, like crocheting, or softball. the night ends with a speech from t's now husband. he thanks her, and his appreciation is deep. i worry that i've eaten too much, and wonder if it will be hard to get up tomorrow.